Hey, World! It has been a long while since I’ve posted anything at all. Today I want to give you a rundown of what has happened and what will be happening. I’ve started a couple posts and not managed to finish them – sometimes because the spark wasn’t there, sometimes because my computer died.
That’s right, my laptop died a slow and agonizing death. Luckily the violent convulsions gave me plenty of heads up that all was not well and I backed up my computer. Unluckily, my new computer has some fancy FireWire Thunderbolt ports that aren’t compatible with the hard drive all of my data is stored on. So half my life is still locked in a hard drive until I purchase an adapter, but at least I have a functioning laptop again.
Things have improved greatly since my last incredibly dramatic soliloquy. I am 100% healthy again – liver and all. I’m still not sure what was wrong with me, but we pretty much threw antibiotics and steroids at it until it went away. Three rounds of drugs and a month-and-a-half after the whole ordeal began I finally got the OK from my doctor to go have a beer.
As when I started the blog, I am still unemployed – except now I intern 45 hours a week. Which is awesome because the companies I’m with are truly incredible, but it’s also exhausting and a little demoralizing. It’s startling the judgement/pity/disapproval you get when people find out you’re working unpaid – and not an undergrad anymore. Look, I’m frustrated enough with the situation myself; there’s enough regret, embarrassment, and cheap tequila floating around without someone else joining in on the pity party. We won’t go into my feelings on unpaid internships, because at the end of the day I signed up for this craziness, but I’ve been completely pooped every evening and completing a post has seemed out of the question.
I’ve also been terribly distracted by the boon of attractive young men here in Nashville.
After a long day at work, when I should probably be writing a blog post or being a fun exciting 20-something and going out to drink money I don’t have or playing music with the energy I didn’t just spend during my 10 hour work day, I’d rather spend time with the above featured attractive young man. We have had some awesome adventures – Attractive Young Man took me up in a very tiny plane which resulted in this selfie and much distress from the parentals:
The tiny plane was slightly smaller than my car, but very awesome none-the-less. And for some reason, I find technical sounding jargon being spoken into a bad-A headset very attractive (though not as attractive as the guitar playing or the explanation of the altitude dependent efficiency of jet versus internal combustion engines based on the oxygen content of the air – I’m starting to think maybe I just find him attractive).
But despite the distraction of being wooed by Attractive Young Man, I have gotten a bunch of songwriting done and I want to share it with everyone SO BADLY. I no longer have ProTools on my computer and I live right next to a train track so recording at home is out of the question anyway, but I am starting to work on a little series I want to call “Bare Bones.” Expect some awesome, simple guitar/vocal(/bodhran?) recordings and videos coming up, each accompanied by a blog about the writing and recording process.
Working 45 hours a week in various offices has made me realize that, although I have a mind for business, what I’m really passionate about (aside from attractive young men) is making music. I need to write. I need to play. It has to happen. A very, very wise teacher once asked me if music was a hobby when I was debating what to pursue in college. It’s not, and never has been. It’s not even something I do for fun – it’s a bodily function, like breathing. It is so much a part of who I am – as powerful an identifier as gender or handedness – that I cannot imagine not doing it, and not having the time or energy to do it has left me moody and irritable.
I thought, up until a few weeks ago, that I had to choose to make music as a career. I’m realizing now that it’s not an option or a choice. I am compelled to make music. I am driven to make sound the way a bird is driven to take wing. I itch without it. There have been tears shed over the thought that I am 1,200 miles away from the part of the country where my heart lives and I’m not following my passion. I’m channeling this angst into a renewed drive to really, truly pursue a career in music. No more halfway, no more excuses, no more self-defeating.
For you all, it means a lot of new, exciting music coming your way, some fresh blog posts, and hopefully some more exciting adventures.
Look forward to more in the future.